Day 104

the deep still night air kept me up the last couple nights. i like night and its bluey gaze. i was standing at the back of the balcony and back among the usual thoughts that naturally come at the beginning of the end of anything. there will be a new beginning soon. today was the last full day of the last juniors week and sunday is the beginning of the end of summer camps. the last week.

i usually don't do this, let alone write a blog about it, but several conversations that i'll draw from later have helped me to decide in favor of sharing on the blog, which by the way is such a weird word. blog. last spring, before accepting the summer australia trip leadership position, i had asked God for some sort of confirmation. i'm not necessarily a sign seeker, but i don't want to be swayed in blind passion or excitement either. later that same day, during a long saturday shift at the sporting goods store, i met an australian customer who i happened to find that had been with teen missions before and knew about the ministry and such. a similar encounter never happened again. i accepted the leadership position and confirmed the trip and i still keep in touch with some of the youth that were on that special team and am really glad to see how some of their lives are growing and expanding spiritually.

now, one hundred plus days into this new summer ministry, i'm at a similar place. this time it's a reversed perspective. because of a canadian border issue upon entrance, i wasn't given, or even questioned enough to know to be given one for that matter, a canadian work permit. i did get a custom's stamp on my passport and arrived in smooth fashion to this camp for the summer volunteer video position. i'll be getting some summer compensation through support, but have been looking for a way to earn some extra cash before taking a very important and exciting next step. see, college began last week, two weeks before the end of my commitment to this camp, so i punched out for the semester and have plans to stay in b.c. with some other traveling friends from new zealand, australia, and canada. there's also one of the speakers from a past week who lives on the island and wants to get together to do some video work together, so i'd been weighing this in the plans as well.

i asked for some sort of confirmation. some sort of tap. something to prove that i could be supported for the next few months until i found a canadian job and got the permit and such. i'm excited about life here and the things i've learned this summer and changes and people and friendships. one friend from seattle, who is frequently called my twin and vice versa, told me today that there's a good chance i can work in the states doing some painting for his home-building dad. we'd already planned on earning some cash by working a half day for his dad and then going to a death cab for cutie concert/music festival in seattle as soon as camp ends next week. this could be that next confirmation. pray.

one of the boys from the australia trip, who lives in texas, and i were talking last week about summer ministry and life and committed to pray for each other and pursuit for the overall life outside the box. that's the best way i can sum that up right now.

i was talking to a friend in vermont today online and she really encouraged me by saying to keep up this lifestyle inspired by youth and inspiration and ministry and spirituality, and in all this to continue to be one that doesn't follows the crowd. 'the highway.'

another friend who's back home in new zealand right now contacted me today after hearing about our winter plans. we had a good friendship when he was here earlier in the summer and adding him to our forming community would benefit all of us greatly.

all these things, new skills and friendships and developments, are really exciting. right now the goal is to finish the summer strong and stay attentive and willing to take the right risks. one day at a time.

life is now.