Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Day 158

after some early disappointment and adaptation of plans, i've finally met up with shawn and danielle during their trip to the west coast. strangely, as i began to notice before when eric had came through washington, the months that i know have passed since we last met seem insignificant and somehow overall trivial in regards to the health of friendships. relationships have maintained a way of picking up where they where left even though so much has changed and been changed since leaving in may.

in my honest opinion, that ability is one of the most important parts of life.

there's one more thing i want to write here. i just got up from bed with a fresh perspective. here it is.

with all the early border issues and also the occurrence of one of the fernie crew memeber's car burning the day before he was set to leave, i've taken a fresh and humble perspective to the conditions and circumstances that have gotten me where i am right now. a year or two ago i was with a friend when we went to wisconsin to visit some of his friends. the wisconsin crew comprised a bunch of younger twentyish guys living in a house in which one of the guys, a amiable musician type, mostly supported the home and in which he'd opened his doors to friends and guys whom were either having hard times in life or were looking for a solid community. i loved it there. after cooking out and kind of sitting around, bo, that was the guy's name, suggested that we all take a walk. we did. a dozen or so people emptied the house and headed into the middle of the night and into the quiet neighborhood streets. as clusters, we walked and talked and everyone ended up looking to bo during unsure moments of which streets to turn or to continue. as he led, bo managed to float around to each group and get involved in their discussion. i don't remember what we were talking about more than the informal spiritual context but i remember him catching up with us and talking genuinely with me even though i was a friend of a friend who'd been invited to come up for this cookout.

i left the wisconsin house and group of musicians and house-cleaners (that was their business, organized by bo) in admiration, having had my eyes opened to a way of living that i never heard of or imagined before.

now, two days before a huge venture across canada, i find myself remembering that night that hadn't crossed my mind since the short time following that weekend. i was talking to adam, the australian who's in our fernie crew, about our collective excitement and anticipation towards a winter where seven solid, cool christian guys are going to get to live together in community. edification. growth. tolerance. i believe that this is the materialization of that bit of something once admired.

i also find myself faced with a unique situation of work permits and the rules of americanness. i'm so close to a good thing and something that may, in a way, been long in the making. these things just don't happen.

yet as i tried to pull ideas and string together ways of earning a winter survival, it's been an incredible and inspiring experience to stop looking forward- to stop thinking about things that can't be effected in this moment- and just be here. be. be. be.

had it not been for these fernie plans, especially as far as they have come, there would have been no definite need for me to stay in the northwest after camp had ended. there would have been no reason to have met and experienced new friendships and knowledge and growth through friends in washington. there would have been no reason to be here right now, in vancouver, to be able to meet friends from home on the exact intersecting week of such long distance and rather heavy situations and plans.

i have no idea what happens starting friday. if i don't acquire work by november first, i'll leave canada. there's a friend i want to visit in vermont. i have no way to realistically support myself long-term past that point. i've already written about money. this situation's outcome will not be eagerly faced, especially especially especially if the door is suddenly closed. yet in stopping tonight in retrospect of the past few days difficulties, i've seen such a strong and deep blessing and experience already received that might have gone slightly less than acknowledged of influence and importance and, more than likely, totally missed had it not been for where i've been led to stand today. in this moment. tonight.

thank to the many people who are praying for this week, trip, situation, winter, and adventure. it's going to get even more real quite soon.

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