three hundred. a mighty number. heavy. the third centurion marker of all this. three hundred. a heavy number.
i haven't read another person for this long in my entire life. thanks very much for your patience and loyalty, both as a person and reader. i know what it's like.
i don't feel mighty though. i'm kind of tired and didn't ride today even though it had snowed overnight. the tide is slowly ebbing out. out of this town. out of this place. i can feel it. i'm getting ready to leave.
i think i'll be beginning to begin the long trek home one of these days. probably april.
maybe life really is what you make of it and whatever energy is spent believing in ideas or philosophies will be what makes a difference in attitude and readiness for reality.
or maybe the structure of societies exist so strongly not because too few people tried to break it but because those who did were left to find that abiding within it is a much easier way to live overall. not necessarily fuller, but usually easier.
after three hundred days, i've found a little more of a balance for these two perspectives. extreme surroundings and interesting people are everywhere. they are here. they're unmet somewhere else. they're everywhere.
right now, i envy those who can settle, if truly wholly and honestly, in that one place and have the people they need together with the day-to-day they can eagerly live.
right now, starting today, i'm ready to try to start to join those two worlds within myself.
and that's the closest i've ever come to saying that i'm growing homesick.