Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Day 310

the ideas and thoughts today are not new. their environment has changed greatly and i think this is a good thing but here are some oldies, complete with twisted grammar, etc, circa december 2007.

[modern art and my generation]

i'm sitting in downtown rockford at the octane.

at least i was when i started typing that sentence. i stopped, mostly because some lady butt-headed me on her shuffle to her seat behind mine. that totally crashed my train of thought.

but as i sat in the modernesque setting, i came to some quiet conclusions about my generation. part of this was provoked by modern art on the wall. that is a subject of its own, but i suppose the blur of colors and splotches has taken me somewhere.

i don't know how to exactly prove this because i'm not trying to speak for everyone, but i wonder how we can be so involved and fervently tuned towards the next particular phase of american culture without completely understanding ourselves as humans or where we might be headed because of the next big ideas or genre movement.

i see three influences that drive this. first is an increased disconnect from true personality and people. technology and connectivity allows for people who are standing or walking alone to not actually look alone, or bored, or whatever they otherwise would be when they can flip out a phone or sidekick and text someone else. i wonder if the massively increasing action only stems from the internal desire of acceptance even though they might not have invested in real conversation had the other person been around or presently available in the first place.

second is the affiliation with an image. as people move through life and encounter more and more people, the world hardly stops to see who's behind the person they know at work or school. is there even time for that anymore? rarely, it seems. emo children for example, who have already gone through the first stage mentioned, dress and act in a way that tells the world how they feel without actually being felt. culture can understand that these people are misunderstood and probably lonely- just by looking at them. beautiful, isn't it?

third, i see the ultimate betrayal of self and will. this heavy melding of people has a great deal to do with the lack of personal use of integrity of interaction and also with the attempt to parallel self-images with that of people of daily encounter, but there's more. while the older generations seemed to have had a bit more of a path or tradition, or at least maybe strong standards for a guide, i've seen many high school graduates mistake freedom of age as an excuse to break former patterns of decent behavior. i'm not saying i'm old fashioned, and don't think that i'm not either, but i think most people choose to perform under the influence of life and freedom in the way they do because a of lack of direction. how can most hope to know that what they want is what they indeed really want by the age of eighteen? twenty? formulas for instant millionairity and overnight popularity puts an even stronger blind on perception of reality. this generation doesn't like to be told that our half-effort or overnight attempt doesn't appear to be as awesome to the rest of the world. and why should it? even my logic professor started last semester with an outline of course material in which he gave his evaluation of a student's goals for the class. "goal- to get as high a grade as manageable while putting forth as little effort as possible."

how many people would take riches over wisdom.

heavy questions. i wonder how many people would honestly be able to say that they are fighting for something real that they know they really want and need. image and unaccounted freedom might be entertaining, but is it getting us to where we need to and should be?

we have options. we have convenience. we have time. we have life.

we have dreams. we have reasons. we have plans. we have plans.

we are unified. we are distinguished. we are separate. we are whole.

we are curious. we are searching. we are finding. we are surprised.

in the rush of our fleeting youth and amidst the creation and exinction of relationships and the little parts of ourselves we try to hold together, i want more.



i will learn of and seek this during these days that now lead to warm weather.

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