Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Day 241

i just got home from work with a copy of 'the economist' that had been left behind. i've always wanted to subscribe to this magazine and have it on my subscription list for whenever i have a little more of a permanent address and room for the beginning of the library. the collection of several decades of national geographic magazines from my grandpa is going to make a great addition to this and be a continual reminder of him too. now i'm at the little organic market with coffee and chillness. there's an article about skiers opting for vermont instead going to the rockies where ''snow levels are down'' and another deep one about the psychology of music, but its not as near as cool as what had happened today. all it takes is at least one deep conversation with a new person, a day's work, and being able to come home to friends and have just enough food for dinner to make a good day.

these are days and moments where i could explode under the combustion of inspiration. this usually happens in the anticipated, quiet moments towards the end of a day where there are earlier events and conversations and people that i want to write about but can't quite settle my mind to collect the thoughts without the uneasiness of creative loss. but still.

a random conversation popped up today with the girl i was working with. she asked me if i was a 'christian' and said that she had some christian friends but that she had no religious ties herself. it took a while to narrow a broad and vague title that nearly 80% of americans subscribe until we reached defining elements like the greatest commandment, but we made it. throughout the afternoon she'd pop around the corner of another room with questions about life or the Bible and i'd look up from scrubbing the sink to answer that i'd never smoked pot or that there are no rules about interracial marriage in christianity or responses to things like gay marriage and right and wrong and love. she'd asked about the virgin birth and it soon paralleled the the commandments and how no mortal human can have these answers or create a path to save another.

after a while i asked her something that had been on my mind after a similar question she'd asked me. she'd had defining questions about religions and spirituality and christianity and now i wanted to honestly know what she thought was the hardest part about being non-religious. we'd gotten comfortable at this point and she said i could ask her anything. i asked and she paused and looked at me and said she'd think about it. a few minutes later she came back from the other room. the moment was both strangely beautiful and interesting and she said that the hardest part about not being a christian was not being sure about knowing a "God'' who would be there for her at any time and who wouldn't judge her for who and where she was at.

i told her that that's a big part of what christian spirituality is all about. that and Jesus' sacrifice. christ crucified.

now by the time i can find both time with my computer and quiet and inspiration, i wish that my memory was better or that i had more skill at wordsmithship. still, i'm thankful for this life and the people here and everywhere that i know and the places and cultures and adventures of all this.

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