Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Day 226

i know i'm a little late in posting for this day but i'm here now to catch up.

in the evening i headed over to the organic marketplace and coffee house. just like last time, i ducked my head against the cold without a coat and with a couple books in my hand. after settling with a cup of coffee in my regular corner spot by the window, i found it hard to find the reading pace. the owner was in the shop tonight and i watched her arrange fondue settings on the bigger tables. we made eye contact and i asked her if there was another christmas party coming in tonight. a few nights earlier i'd been made aware by staff that a private christmas party was due to fill the entire shop, so i left. i think they needed my table. she answered ''what do you think?'' and i couldn't decide if she was being a snob or if i was experiencing the beginning of an awkward conversation.

i looked back down at the words in travels every once in a while. within a few minutes she passed my small table and asked, like she'd done a few nights back ''how the book was.'' she's being friendly, i thought, but didn't ignore the passing notion that she might be getting ready to tell me that they'll be needing my table. again. at the end of the night, after some more scattered conversations, i left the quiet market without any remaining doubts or negative decisions against the place or people. this will be my new chill spot for the moments when rare chilling time has been allotted.


i want very much to be a real person- authentic and not caught up in a lie or in the chasing of what i'd always thought was necessary and important. and i want real faith too.

a few days ago i realized that i'll be needing a pair of ski goggles for boarding; the cold air and flurries are a hinderance when riding in these rockies. money is low and i was prompted to wait. then a few days later, today, i was cleaning a departure room at a resort and found, in the top of the kitchen garbage, a nearly brand-new, discarded pair of a quality goggles. they were clean and i washed them down just in case. and that's just a pair of goggles.

what if we really don't have to worry about tomorrow and all that?

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