Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Day 129

i rode a tractor for most of the afternoon today. actually it was more like a lawn mower with a trailer and i shoveled and hauled the dirt piles i'd accumulated from weeding the massive berm. this first one is about sixty yards long and about twenty feet high up a hill. once i finish hauling and mulching this one, there's the next one down and it's bigger and weedier.

i talked with a millionaire who openly discussed that, no matter how much stuff there is, there's never enough free cash to feel safe. in the stillness and peace of the lake and warm and sunny afternoon, i was surprised to hear anxious and yet strangely similar forecasts of typical income concerns. i'm not worried, just observant in this fact of life.

i've gotten to the point over this entire summer where living life doesn't seem to feel as much as an escape or leaving from something as much as has become a pursuit of the inspiration and possibilities ahead. there's a big difference in this.

part of this pursuit overwhelms me when i go to a bookstore, which hasn't happened in a few weeks, and stand before isles and isles of music and books i'll never get to hear or read. even tonight i feel it when people are showing me photo and video editing tutorials and i'm finding new books i want to read and movies to learn from or observe. the other night i went to the gym, there's a basketball/volleyball court in this house, to play guitar in the acoustics of wood floors and carpeted walls. music.

i'm trying hard to be ready for whatever it is that is next. if nothing else, i'll be happy in the rest of these things. that's gotta count for something, right?

No comments: