Day 45

perspective changed a little more today. in relation to music and services and worship, all i'd ever really known was either on-stage participation or participation as an individual in a congregation. today we showed the annual music video we'd been working on and it was all really exciting. after the presentation, i looked towards the stage over the light board and computer screen and one hand pulsed and adjusted stage lights while the other hand's fingers flicked through the power point slides of verses and choruses. i'd never been on this side before- here with the buttons and little tech talk that i never really wanted to fall into too deeply. the band here has been set and established, yet i'm the one who never really gave much thought to this background job when roles had once been reversed. after all, i honestly admit, nobody really ever turns around unless a mic dies or you forget to click the next slide.

powerpoint can be tricky if you're not paying attention to every word and rhythm. during one song, give us clean hands, perspectives changed again. this time, it shifted a year back when that song had a pretty prominent role in the music planning of a leadership role with a teen missions team. australia was a year ago. already. this summer, i'm not playing much music right now and it feels weird. strange. sometimes i wonder if my fingers will forget things and i still wouldn't trade clicks of a mouse or slider slides and flashing lights for what i knew and had before, but these are just some changes being made. learned.

this camp life is getting busier. this is the last calendar week of preparation. i like what i'm learning and i've been learning a lot. but today, more than anytime i'd ever really known before, i miss the music.

the accompaniment of recently discovered jaymay chilled the office work today. usually i don't like girl solo artists, but she's not bad. at all.

Day 44

a gut feeling has led me to post a few minutes before dinner starts. after the meal and the evening events, our three-man video crew is gonna finish shooting the big music video. i've been told i'm a camera operator for this so that's what i'll do. i just finished spending the afternoon putting together the highlight video of staff training over the past few days. it will be shown in tonight's q-town. q-town.. q-town...

we'll be working late so i might get back to add or edit this. this is the director's cut.

i have acquired an rei nalgene bottle. legend has it that this bottle, most recently left behind by my friend tim after his sudden return home to new zealand, had been owned by one of my roommates and, before that, by another friend here. this second friend had picked it up after tim had left it behind once before during a past trip or departure. rumors circulated that tim picked the nalgene bottle up during a previous adventure from another traveller. now it's mine. i've washed it several times, so stop worrying about germs because i know you are, and someday i'm gonna find out where this bottle had indeed been before tim.

this has been the perfect tangent to fill up the last few minutes before dinner. time to finish the day.

edit: just shot the music video. incredibly intense. goodnight.

Day 26

this is for thursday, by the way, but its early friday morning. every couple weeks i'll go to bed early to catch up on sleep then be good to go again. i'll pry head to the kitchen to see what i can find to eat before laying back down to wait for daylight. i also had some weird dreams earlier and am not sure what they could've meant.

today was a good, chill, and overall solid workday. this morning the music and video department head had me screen and pick some christian music videos from a fresh dvd that had come in the mail. some of the bands just couldn't pull off the 'hard emo christian rocker' skin and their darkness was just awkward and creepy. there were a few solid ones of other genres that i chose though. i fought partiality for needtobreathe's 'washed by the water' video because i'd seen them in concert a few weeks ago, but i ended up deeming it a solid candidate for use this summer. after that, i wrote a script for a short video we'll shoot this weekend for a side-show sort of presentation for the summer camps. hopefully i'll direct it as well.

don miller's podcasts were a welcome voice-over for the day and i paused workflow a few times to read an old, online rolling stones interview with bono that miller actually refers to at one point. u2's incessant popularity with the other staff at this camp almost made me skip the whole article altogether until musical references to lennon and dylan kept my interest. frequently hearing switchfoot coving u2 songs is as cliche as it gets, but oh well.

a few minutes ago i woke up in the middle of having a dream. there were pen marks and words written carefully on the palm of my right hand. somebody told me that this was absolute truth, and i tried to read and believe and understand what they exactly said, but was suddenly flashed to a scene of busy, city-street walkers. people that didn't know or care about me would half-heartedly shake my hand as they walked by or would occasionally put up a high five with a nod. smears soon replaced the carefully-scripted words and i woke up in my bunk, checked my hands, and considered the balance needed to living right whether it be in the confines of a safe christian camp or the flowing masses of impersonal society. each has its dangers. 

seriously, what a weird thing to scrape up from a dream at 3 am.

by the way, i've managed to upload the blues jam me, my roomate, and the music/vid department leader did for a talent show a couple weeks ago. its rough, i should warn you.