Day 174

i've been in correspondence with a traveler who is familiar with and involved with chris mccandless's family.

i officially started my janitor job at the church today. key and code, i entered, did my business, logged my labor time, and happened to lose the next few, quick hours playing their new baby grand. this is sweet. i did happen to find a mysterious stairwell that houses hundreds and hundreds of buzzing, trapped flies. i don't think many people go into that place. one of the ladies of the church happened to stop by while i was there with pizza, so she gave me a free lunch and a bag of chips.

we went to a hockey game in town tonight. there's a juniors league of twentyish aged, nhl hopefuls and the competition is a huge source of entertainment for a ski-town. they even fight, which for the majority of hockey spectators who regardlessly admit or deny it, is a huge incentive to go to a game.

finally, in replying to an email from a friend from high school and trying to summarize the high points and events of the past few months, i'm honestly able to fully respond  to the question that i think i am living the dream. it's not america's dream because i don't have much money, but i have good friends, a desire for deeper spirituality, and a simplified lifestyle that's opened my eyes to a new way of living and thinking and feeling. it's so life-provoking in itself to be able to finally live this way through faith and being excited about God's plan. i know that might sound selfish now, and i understand that his plan might lead some other way some day, but through all this, i'm discovering what it might take to be able to follow it then as well.

Day 112: the last day

where to start..

has it really been nine weeks of consecutive camps? and now, in a sudden and final ending of fun and friends and sharing and music, it's all over. and not just for one week's pause before the a new camp and new faces, but the end of the end.

youth camp is the grand finale of summer where the campers are fourteen to eighteen years old and there's a huge overall amp in the week and program.

part of this is the banquet where many work hard to set and prepare a classy outdoor dining area on the field. banners and white strings of lights hang from poles like a circus tent skeleton and an atmosphere not much unlike prom has filled every camp outlet with blow driers and whatever else girls brought in preparation for this night. from the stage along the outer circumference, the sun is seen fading behind the mountain and i feel like a lizard in the warm glow of the nearby standing stage lights. they take effect as the mountain begins to sleep in the growing night and i think that i'm content because i'm playing piano as the six hundred campers and friends and staff are seated and laughing in the ocean air. friends dash up on stage at random times to take pictures and the music doesn't stop and there was jazz and octaves and seventh chords and the purest, cleanest, most-fitting recreations as i can pull in this moment that has now become the realization of a long and deep desire for an outdoor audience and piano and mountains and everything.


now, much later, i'm in my office for the last night. i'm only half way through the dvd label stamping and case filling because i couldn't bring myself to leave the fireside. the campers shared stories about broken pasts and broken homes and lives that they're scared to face again tomorrow afternoon. why do i have it so good..

i'll be awake again in a few hours to make it to the final breakfast and my first in several weeks. i'll clean the office, pack my bags, say goodbye to camper and staff friends, and the lights will go out suddenly after such a long and beautiful and admirable summer.

i don't know what else to say right now.

Day 59

the number of days is starting to get up there. for the first real time in semi-adult life, i can say that i really like my job and life combination and everything. i'm not going to go into a melodramatic monologue or anything, but i'm glad to be able to say that at least once while still being able to realize the same ideas and philosophies of past pursuit.

exactly a year ago today, i was at an airport and had begun a long flight to australia. i've been in touch with a handful of the seventeen team members lately and its been good to remember and be remembered. hey guys.

this day of camp has been going well although it's only half over. this is the earliest post ever. it was 'wide-eyed and liquified' in the morning so i got the camera housing again and played in the water and went down the huge slip-n-slide with the kids. the juniors don't slide as fast as junior highers, but their enthusiasm is unmatched. the afternoon was spent at the beach getting the remaining shots we need to be able to start to edit the week's dvd.

after deciding to stop by the lodge to drop some stuff off in my room, i ran into the head paramedic, tim. he had just come back from town and had made good on an incredible promise. i went to my room and unwrapped the dairy queen cheeseburger and had a mini thanksgiving atop my bedside cajon. i've saved the second burger for later tonight. camp food is okay but gets old when you're eating the same thing with 300 plus other people.

one of the counselors had a package sent in from her mom. included was the book 'into the wild' which she lent to me while she finishes her week counseling. this reunion of tangible text and the smell of full pages has been sorely missed. i agreed to share any inspiring quotes from the book or from any other searches.


"whoever waits for time to pass loses time" sicilian proverb

"he not busy being born is busy dying" bob dylan

"life is either a daring adventure or nothing" helen keller

"you feel like life is always leading up to something, but it isn't. i mean life is just life. it's all happening right now, and we aren't going to be any more complete a month from now than we are now. i only say this because i am trying to appreciate everything tonight. i will be leaving soon, and i want to feel this, really understand that it is happening because God breathed some spark into some mud that became us, and He did it for a reason, and i want to feel that reason, not some false explaination." --don miller "through painted deserts"