Day 314

today was my last ski competition. duties as starter included standing with clipboard and radio and communicating with judges down below and announcing and sending respective skiers down for their run. age...name... 3..2..1.. dropping... this volunteer events gig has not only been fun but i think i've learned some skills that might hopefully be usable in the future. but that's kind of boring to say. here's something more interesting.


you'd think that a regular guy who decides to live in a secluded cabin for a wisconsin winter would sit around and play dashboard songs or read jack london. you'd especially expect this if this guy had gone through a painful breakup with both a girlfriend and band. i expected something altogether emo.

but that's not what i found in an album by a guy named justin vernon. he goes by the name 'bon iver', a term customized from the french words for 'good winter' heard in a northern exposure series he'd brought along with some boys choir cd to accompany his cold and wooden solitude.

i like most the fact that he doesn't seem try too hard. people who try too hard make me really uncomfortable, especially musicians who think that they're awesome at playing three chord progressions. this justin guy had some time and instruments and basic recording gear. maturing purpose developed into the creation of a record. typical, right? that's another reason i expected something altogether emo but even that's not really what came of it.

somber. howling. chorusy harmonies. sincere. and all the while the overall vibe nestles somewhere in the balance of circumstance and flow.

check out bon iver here.

Day 153

good news. but first,

i was working outside today on the hill and doing as much as i can in these last few days before taking off. i leave washington on monday for vancouver where i'll meet up and stay with friends from back home for a couple days.

while outside today, i took a short break to sit on a big rock i'd dug up to rest and take perspective. lazy wakes lapped against the shore a short ways down the hill. even before leaving in may, i had such a strong and inexplainable presence that i wouldn't be coming straight back. there were no details, plans, or even ideas. just a feeling.

the silence and peace of the still water mirrored the fading tree line on the other side. this whole experience, especially the post-summer developments, have been an incredible realization of the opinions and evaluations and hopes of life i'd been forming over the past three years. i'd left home for the beginning of this trip one day after the end of baseball and finals and, had i done so, i would have returned two weeks into a new semester. all this running. chasing.

time had been telling me where to go, what to do, and how long i had to do it. time to graduate high school. time to pick a college. time to pick a degree, then a career, then a job. then you're stuck.

where is the transition in this? where is the understanding of meaning and reason and purpose and appreciating the elements of a life worth living?

i sat on this little boulder with thoughts like these zipping along like thoughts tend to do. they're fast, but traceable. one thing led to this, the next to that, and now i'm here. goals were so much easier to identify for the future. motivation is stronger and more real than ever before because, for once, it's coming through personal terms. i looked up from the dirt and met eyes with a huge bald eagle as he cruised at eye level only fifteen feet in front of me before continuing his flight and disappearing in the trees to the right.

so, the good news. i called a guy in fernie today who might be able to give me some work for the winter. he was surprisingly chill and helpful and we ended up yarning about work situations in fernie and winters and international stuff. i guessed from his accent that he was from new zealand- i've had good practice at this drawl identifying from the summer. one of the nice things about our house, i'm starting to see, is that it's located near the very center of a town which is only about a mile wide, so that's gonna be awesome knowing that most employment will be within a miles walk. rocky mountain ski-town. he said to call him again once i get into town and we can meet to see what can be worked out. if nothing else, he's given me a couple insights on the goings on of job finding there. everything, step by step, is going well.