Day 354

the morning has exploded into cloudless blues and vivid greens. someone's mowing the lawn and the cool air carries the scent on golden gusts to the center grass of the roundabouts where people are scattered reading or sleeping or playing with their dog.

cole and i hopped on bikes to go to the grocery store. this trader joes in the southeast neighborhood of portland is the very one across the street from my couchsurfing.com friends from last fall. remember that? here is yet another cool little connection of old and new people and places.

i'm not sure i tell you about the trouble i get into every once in a while. it's nothing serious and things have always worked out, but there are some side affects to traveling and living without a cell phone. i've embraced and enjoyed it so far, but there are times when i find myself 'up a creek and without a paddle' as today's gas station employee suggested.

it happened before in vancouver when tyler's number was a digit off in my notepad and he wasn't in the phonebook and i had to research maps and memories to hitch back. it happened in seattle last week when the pay phones wouldn't dial parker's cell number and it took forty minutes of store hopping to be granted a phone call to plan our reuniting before the noah concert. and it happened again today when my bike's rear wheel stopped turning altogether because of some broken hub and cole and i were separated. i hopped on a bus and offered my total of twenty-seven cents to which the driver casually accepted. the gas station couldn't call cole's long distance, california cell number and only after visiting a diner a few blocks down did i place the call. the waitress had told me to pick a seat and i asked about the phone. i told her i'd try to make it back some other time for food.

these events aren't too serious at all but they make me realize that having a working phone and my own car back home at such a young age was really an incredible privilege. i don't think i ever would have seen those two things in this way before.

but my bike wheel was toast and i spent the rest of the trip under an aluminum-crucifix plod. on the walk back to the house, though, i found i was perfectly happy. there was fresh air and sun and this new place. i don't know how to explain the following other than by saying that i've found it to be exponentially (big word) satisfying to consciously 'give'- and that's where i mean i can't explain it- these moments and feelings of contentment or unbridled happiness or inspiration to God, or at least let him know that i'm thankful for them and that i'm trying to relate them back.

and as i walked the sidewalk under the blossoming trees i mulled over the comment of a friend who had said that they thought i had done more with a year than anyone else they know. that meant a lot and today, with the bike across my back, i thought about the past near year in total and the continually intersecting paths and friends and clutch earning opportunities and although i don't have an impressive amount of money, i have enough coin to survive and to start paying back my parents. and if it's a parent's goal to see their kid happy and successful wherever they're at then i hope that the context of the past three fifty-four days lends these daily, last minute posts for the telling and finding all this kind of adventure and learning and happiness and growth that i never imagined could happen in a life. it's almost become a flexible, pseudo self-support lifestyle of its own that, in its own concentrated genre, i would guess to be as exciting and rewarding than if i had never left illinois and had just plowed through another year of college and future planning and retail working.

for all this i am thankful. and in these ways and in the closing line i want to here acknowledge Jesus as my trust and director of paths.

Day 353

hey, remember last week when we went to the noah gundersen show and got to sing onstage? these people did. check the second picture and the guy directly next to noah gundersen.

lately i've been all over the place with words that get strung and tossed night after night on this blog. sometimes i really want to tell more of a story or give details for other things but that hasn't happening too much lately. other times i just mirror a few actions and steps and places. for instance some recent conversations with people and friends back home have been really inspiring and more than complementing. thanks for that. it's cool to be able to share vibes on life through the different kinds we have been living. i wish the whole scene could be shared.

but i'm glad to be getting a groove in portland. there are so many past places now that have become familiar and even more people who have become like floating third and fourth and seventeenth homes.


if you're in the greater chicago area i have some great news for you. noah gundersen is playing one show at north park university. no joke. he only really plays the pacific northwest but he's got a connection there. tomorrow night (thursday) at 7:30 at anderson chapel. a friend from home is going to be there and these small connecting factors are just another of the many that have been alive and growing during all this.

Day 352

flowers. blossoms. moss. humidity. rain. damp wood. pavement. grass.

these are the smells of an overcast and rainy portland afternoon.

so get this. i'm back at palios coffee sitting by the window. there's at least seven other people a glance away doing the same. wait, i can count six. and we're all here being really quiet except for our little taps and clicks. i just moved to a table where an older gentleman had claimed one of the only existing power outlets left in this establishment but he's willing to share the space. i'd just checked the back rooms but it's too awkward to bend near others' tables to see if they're near a power source. there's another dozen back there and nobody looks up.

i was making headway into a few borrowed books when the rain suddenly stopped so i hurried back to the house to grab my bike before the sunshine disappeared again. i got directions from parker and headed solo into the streams of traffic for downtown. after a stop at the buffalo clothes exchange and an hour or so reading other books at powell's on burnside, i unlocked the bike and headed with traffic to wander around the north face store and to whole foods for the classic banana lunch. 'earth bananas, man,' i answered the cashier when he asked if these were from the organic, fair trade, or regular earth category.

tonight is poker night at the house. in the end it came down to me and andy after the other four had been eliminated. we laid our cards down to to the luck of the draw so that the game didn't have to go too long. his cards won, i guess, even though we were both ready for the rewardless game to be over.


finally, the middle roof is a sweet place to chill and the overhanging top eve provides shelters from the rain. both parker's bedroom windows open to this little area and i've found another sweet place to chill during the afternoon. some of the passing cars and bikes on the street below and honk or wave acknowledgments.

edit addition: we just went out searching for food and i knocked on the doors of a dominoes at eight minutes past midnight. turns out they did have extra and hooked us up with a hot box of deep dish. i love this place.

Day 351

the shriek of the stiff wooden stairs blends in with the other groans of this old house and with the howls of nearby trains. heavy sleeping habits overwrite any permanent distraction and only does the sharp noon sun raise my awareness to notice a housemate coming down to wish everyone good morning. i got up from my makeshift yet comfortable bed on the couch. about an hour later parker and i are leaving the house on our bikes for my first official day as a temporary resident of oregon.

riding a bike in this town is just as efficient, if not better than, a car. it was only a few minutes until we'd crossed the river into downtown and pulled off at stumptown coffee. most everyone inside had a beanie perched like hipster yamakas atop their exposed foreheads. below the neck hang cardigan sweaters and most of these people are hunched over computers as they bang away without breaking eye contact with the screen. i wonder what they're working on as parker and i walk outside to a table on the sidewalk near our bikes.

also, it seems that a semi-beard is just as popular as any kind of full beard. maybe i'm looking too hard at these people, but most guys seem to dexterously manage a heavy five o'clock shadow without an all-out commitment to the lumberjack groove.

still, the coffee here is tops and these bikes are a good idea and i've adjusted to the road bike hunch. there are no mountains inside this city. parker continued to give me the tour and we pedaled in between cars and along the bike lane while keeping constant watch for the potentially devastating tram car grooves.

powell's is, i think, the world's biggest independent bookstore. there are different color-coded levels and we spent a good chunk of time wandering the warehouse of pale, wood shelves. there's a bob dylan scrapbook that i'd always seen for forty-five dollars. they had one for fifteen bones. and no sales tax. needless to say i bought it. and here again begins the impulsive purchasing of books.
after leaving the bookstore and riding the tram and walking around we chilled in a starbucks where one of parker's friends hooked us up with some free coffee. the imago dei college group was meeting at a house across the street in an hour and i explored the pockets and articles of dylan book and parker read the other one i'd bought. here's where i hope i start remembering more details about the night.

i was surprised how crowded the house was. luke and levi live there and seem to be either finishing up some sort of school or are working and i guess they're about five years older than i am. maybe twenty five people are scattered between the kitchen and living room and hallways. a row of bikes hang from one of the walls.

we watched a rob bell video called bullhorn where bell asks his christian viewers to stop using bullhorns on street corners to try to tell people about Jesus and hell and heaven and repenting and sin. he says that christians should focus on acts of love instead of announcing judgement through abrasive messages for repentance.

so we have group discussions and a surprising few seemed to believe that loving people is more important than having the name of Jesus being involved and acknowledged as the bottom line motive. they called it avoiding having an agenda. i told the story from the weekend about the guy chris and what he'd said when i asked him why he feeds the homeless and works charity. Jesus wasn't a factor for him and he does what he does just to help and love others, so do chris' actions parallel that of a christian who, some believed, should love for loves sake and not necessarily include the name of Jesus, even if it was in some minor presentation? some of the same earlier people answered that since God is love then anyone, anywhere can do something and have it involve Jesus without having to put him into the equation. i wondered back, then, what was the difference about letting people know then that what you've done for them is both out of love for Jesus and for that person, since it's all supposedly connected anyways by whoever does whatever in the name of love. several others agreed that this was indeed our responsibilities as christians.

i'm not making any judgement calls here. the small group tonight was really interesting and i'm glad to have met people who love Jesus and are the same age as me. still, i'm interested to see how things unfold further.

Day 350

i feel there needs to be mention of this morning's church and second consecutive afternoon feast cookout. this time a new group of friends gathered at the gohricks and ken somehow managed to produce another batch of gourmet speciality, oven stone pizzas. the sun was out and the low lawn held cut lines and a green smell and there were hammocks and talking and chilling. dozens of fishing boats bobbed in the backyard lake in celebration of opening season.

over lunch i met a musician who'd impressed me this morning at church and he told me about his professional career in various symphonies and bands around the states. his shiny, round forehead and long white beard and laugh were as jolly as santa. i guess mostly just his personality would have been jolly, but he told me stories about music and traveling and then said that when he reached the age of thirty or so he started to get tired of the moving around and constant uprooting of the adventurous life. he told me to enjoy it while i can. and i am.

i'm especially excited right now because i'm sitting in portland, oregon, at a coffee shop often cited by writer don miller as one of his favorite places to write his books. and i can see why. the place is big but not wide and single sections of tables and chairs border the windows. there are dozens of college students hunched with computers in the dim, yellow light and i'm really just happy to be here. i don't even think i'll be able to read my book here tonight. can't concentrate.

parker's house is only a five minute walk from this place but i think i got here in four. a full moon is cloaked in mist above downtown and patches of sky and moonlight hang a heavy blue between the branches of trees on these neighborhood sidewalks and streets. the air is warm and smells like flowers; i think tulips are popular here. several flashing cyclers whizz past on the asphalt and through shadows and past parked cars.

parker is experiencing his own community and renting experience, maybe somewhat like my fernie, and he's invited me to stay for a bit. the guys he lives with all seem cool so far and most of us had hung out over the weekend while riding bikes and going to the concert in seattle.


it's ten p.m. and palio doesn't close for another hour. i'm so stoked to be here right now. just over a year ago i'd bought a discounted road atlas from a borders bookstore in illinois and had reviewed and explored what highways would bring me from rockford to portland. i'd spent weeks looking for rooms for rent in the shared houses section on craigslist. i'd even talked to the manager at my sporting goods store and he said that a transfer to the new portland store could definitely happen. that was back in march 2008 and still it somehow didn't make sense then.

and i'm not saying that just because i'm here right now that an omnipotent understanding has suddenly arrived. to be honest, i've stopped looking back on the past 350 days as a lump sum and have grown to value each step and day and relationship and risk and success and failure and opportunity.

so tonight from edge of 16th and next to the massive roundabout circle outside the window i want to tell you that i'm stoked to be here for the next month. my new musician friend up north had asked me what i would do if i could do anything for the rest of my life. i told him i'd play music and write non-fiction books and do photography in whatever ministry or cause would be appropriate.

so here i am in portland for the next few weeks. then there's a reunion with some fernie and montana friends at the sasquatch music festival in eastern washington. and then to illinois.

and by then who knows what will have happened.

Day 349

we left downtown seattle this afternoon for parker's parents house at the lake. ken was having his big party for the business partners from their international trout lodge company and the air was thick with the sweetness of bbq ribs and stone oven pizza. the slushy and soft serve ice cream machines were running. the popcorn was ready. we helped to prepare what food we could and then mingled and most everyone of the men thought i was parker and kept telling me how much i've grown and that i was hairier than they remembered.

after everyone had gone home parker brought the karaoke machine out and the family and cole and i sat around and they sang and i played piano along to some of the songs.

Day 348

everyone's coming back to the apartment and i've got a couple seconds to dump a couple things out before concentration slides away. i'll come back before tomorrow's post to edit and put some links in for the organizations and musicians mentioned below.

we rode road bikes today all around seattle. everywhere. our adventure started near the seattle pacific university campus where we met indie musician noah gundersen for lunch. he had a show tonight on campus with david bazan (pedro the lion, headphones, etc) that we'd all be back for.

as is usual, i later split off from the group and locked my borrowed bike in front of a borders. finally an american bookstore. i would like nothing more than to one day have a chill place where i can have my own library of books and music and instruments. anyways, while wandering the sunny streets of the pike place market i ran into a new friend, chris, who i'd met a few hours earlier and who was a friend of parkers. he works for the charity children international and we got to know each other a bit on the street corner of pine and first. chris looks just like one of my baseball teammates from rock valley college except he has piercings of bone particles in his ear. i asked him why he does what he does and why he walks downtown and asks people to sponsor children for twenty dollars a month. he'd already tried to get me and i changed subjects.

his reasons were non spiritual and elementally human: contentment and the feeling of helping. the explanation was cut short by a homeless girl. "man, she would be so beautiful if she could kick her habit and get a shower. i can just see her walking the streets in a sundress and maybe a little bit of make up and enjoying her day instead of sitting and begging on the corner to aid her fix." chris and i walked across the street and he bought her a piece of pizza. after handing it over and him saying that he knows and wants to identify with these 'bum' friends, we saw the girl tearing her pizza in half to share with another bum across the street. a beautiful moment. i saw another homeless man drinking the last sips from a drink he scooped from the garbage. ten feet away from him were the shopping middle class husbands and wives and families. on the other side of this were luxury cars and shiny rims roaring over the downtown cobblestone. and nobody seemed to notice either of the others within their thirty foot radius. all these things connected in my mind and i agreed to sponsor a child and picked a boy in mexico because i'd been there a couple times before.

there was an awesome three piece bluegrass band outside the original starbucks and i leaned against a light pole for fifteen minutes. i was glad i had no backpack and didn't feel like a tourist during my wandering laps through the crowds of families and foreigners and shoppers. pike place market.

i rode along with traffic to meet back up with the other guys and we headed back to campus for the show. we chilled with noah backstage and the group of us took a walk around campus. we didn't even have to worry about seats cause we were all given reserved 4th row seats with him. awesome. before noah went up he asked four of us if we wanted to come on stage for part of the singalong for the last song. yes, that would be sweet.

the room was two hundred plus packed and when we got our cue we ran onto the stage to sing the melody. it was great. then the lights dimmed and david bazan clawed his acoustic guitar and thanked us for coming to see an 'old guy singing old songs.' his tone was milk and honey and the whole room was motionless for every tune. in between songs he'd interact and would answer any questions. at the end he told everyone to ''be sweet to each other if they really believe what the Bible says.''

dick's is a fast food, outdoor burger joint that hasn't changed prices in fifty-five years of business. that's incredible on so many levels and the high school kids in orange uniforms that work on the other side of the glass move so quick that it's almost unsettling to think that they're doing it for me. but the food is good and incredibly cheap and is also tonight's last reason to love seattle.

that's a quick summary. bikes, seattle, coffee, books, musicians, friends, homeless, charities, good people, food, and a somehow privileged life and journey. i'm so happy and so thankful to be alive.

Day 347

i think i have a normal sleep schedule. that's cool.

there's a big cookout at the house this weekend for ken's fellow partners of their trout farming business. i finished a big part of the berm yesterday and today started washing down the lawn furniture to help with preparation. we stained the deck at the job site too, finally, which was clutch because the sun and the waves of the boat wakes were both distant enough for the first coat to get done entirely. working with parker's dad ken has been really cool. our conversations have been pretty meaningful lately and it's cool to get some wisdom from a man like him. at the end of all this and after changing out of the stain-wreaked socks and jeans i finally met up with parker who was driving up from portland to pick me up on the way to seattle.

the downtown skyline was familiar and i found i was stoked to be approaching the night glow of safeco field and the needle and of the memories of last fall. music, places, etc.

parker, his friend cole from portland, and i are here for most of the weekend. there's a tiny diner by jeremy, parker's cousin, and after a long work day i got a most satisfying burger and a few cups of coffee. the waitress looked like clementine from 'eternal sunshine of the spotless mind' and there were hundreds if not thousands of pictures drawn on the walls by customers. an eclectic greasy spoon.

i think the most exciting part about being back in downtown seattle is that it's now at the forefront of this adventure. last fall it had fallen under the shadow of fernie plans and of winter but it's spring here and the night air is warm and mild and after a day of work and some good food and friends i find that i'm especially content and happy to be alive here.

by the way there's a new one.